Tom, you’ve been buying from us for years, and we love working with you. And we really appreciate your business. Who do you know who would benefit from working with us like you do?

 Then, be silent.

Count to 1,000 if you have to. Sing an entire song in your head, and repeat. Do whatever you have to do to not talk! It’s going to be uncomfortable. But be quiet anyway. Tom wasn’t thinking about a referral for you before you asked for it. Let the man think!

 Too many referrals are lost to nervous chatter.

 For that matter, too much business is lost to chatter. Ask for the business and be quiet!

 Also: Don’t ask if Tom knows somebody, ask who Tom knows.

 If you ask the question like I have above, and then be silent until the customer speaks, you will get a referral one out of every three times you ask. (That average gets you into the Hall of Fame in baseball.)

 If the customer doesn’t have an answer for you. Or he says he’ll think about it (he won’t — everybody knows he’ll never think of it again), don’t let him off the hook. Instead, make another effort and help him think of somebody:

 Tom, we work with people like you. Owners or presidents or general managers at companies over $50 million. Who do you know like this?

 Then, S-I-L-E-N-C-E.

And guess what? Another one-third will give you a referral at this point.

That’s two out of three.

 That’s how you grow your sales!

 (This isn’t theory. This is fact. This works. And these are the numbers. If you want referrals, ask for them like this. Teach your people this. And if you want some help, I systematize this for my clients, with accountability and the incredible positivity of your customers, every day. Reply to this email or call me at 847-459-6322 to discuss.)